A quick epilogue following “R is off the picking team,” and a word of advice. You know when you have those dates that are less than ideal, but you start to think, “well, maybe he could grow on me,” remember – you do not want a fungus. God explained this to me with great visual cues.
After my time learning that R’s men were not for me, I was wandering around HEB, when I received a text from R saying that the man in question had thought I was really cool. So then I started to wonder if I had perhaps been a bit too hasty. Maybe he didn’t look so old; maybe his complete lack of conversational skills were due to shyness or intimidation; maybe he could grow on me.
So, as these thoughts are floating through my mind, I head back home to finish watching an episode of Fringe, which I had recently discovered on Amazon Prime. Now, let me just say this – I have had a massive crush on Joshua Jackson since the days of Mighty Ducks. I didn’t even realize that he was the same actor when I fell for Pacey on Dawson’s Creek (I always knew Pacey and Joey were meant for each other). I worshiped at his shrine in The Skulls. But, for some reason, I had completely failed to jump onboard the Fringe bandwagon. Well, once I realized that I could stream that show for free, I was in like Flint.
I sat down on my couch and resumed my previous place in the episode. About three minutes into the viewing, there was this great shot of Joshua doing that side-smile, looking totally mischievous and super-cute, all at once, and I got butterflies. I am fully aware that this is a character on a show, that this man has no clue who I am, nor would he ever want to, and, again, that I am only in love with the persona that he plays on television and in movies. But still – my heart skips a beat whenever he gets that look on his face.
And right then, my hesitations and rehashings of the earlier date were released, and I received this message with full clarity. I needed to hold out for someone who could make me feel that way when he looked at me (a real someone). I needed to not settle for someone, or make do with someone, who I was not at all attracted to. I needed to recognize my potential and not wait for someone to grow on me.
In other words, I needed to hold out for my proverbial Joshua Jackson.