This is exactly the opposite of what I was describing that I wanted in my previous post. I got a message late last night from this guy on OKcupid. He said that my profile made him smile and that I was “completely adorable” (it’s true – I am). I checked out his profile, liked what I saw and messaged back. Now, I will just say, I am really good at the dating site messages. I reference at least one or two things I see in the guy’s profile, and I either hint at a story that I think they’ll like, or I ask leading questions based off of their interests. I’m a pro. So I did the same for this guy – Speed Racer.
I get a response seven minutes later saying, “Do you like to text?” Um, we’ve literally exchanged one message each. I’m not really comfortable 1) with giving you my number, and 2) with allowing a complete stranger to have that kind of immediate access to my time. Don’t get me wrong, I text with lots of people, but it’s not my favorite thing in the world. I think texting should be relegated to small pieces of important information – “I’m on my way,” “Can you talk?” “Do you want me to pick up something for dinner?” – or for when you are unable to talk (like when you’re at work). But I really dislike having complete conversations with people through text. If you want to talk to me, pick up the phone and call me. Which brings me back to this – Speed Racer and I have exchanged one message online, so what would we be texting about?
I replied that I only texted when I couldn’t avoid it. Again, he responded immediately (under two minutes) and said, “Then how are we going to talk and flirt?” Um, dude?? You see how we’re messaging each other right freaking now?? We can continue to do that. I actually didn’t respond for a couple of hours (I was running errands) and when I did, I said, “You can’t talk and flirt through OKC’s message system?” He responded before I could even get off the site to say that yes he could, but it was a little slower than he preferred.
And that’s where I stopped talking to him. I have no idea if this guy is a psycho or is in massive need of therapy or is just desperately lonely, but you have been monitoring your email/messages so closely that you haven’t even gone a quarter of an hour before responding to me, even when I have taken a few hours’ break, and that is moving too slow? Were you expecting to propose on our third date? Sorry, been there, done that 😉
I get that a lot of people get frustrated with online dating and how you can email with someone for weeks and then everything just falls apart and you never meet, and you feel like you wasted all that time. I totally understand that. In fact, at the beginning of October, I was messaging with this guy on OKC (yes, while I was dating Jay), and we messaged back and forth for probably three weeks. But we could never get our schedules to match up, and neither one of us was really putting any effort into meeting up, so I finally just drifted off into oblivion. But I don’t think that the logical response to that is to speed everything up at a ridiculous pace. I don’t think I would give someone my number after just two minutes of talking to them, which is essentially what Speed Racer’s and my messages accounted for.
The only responses that I could think of to Speed Racer’s comment that OKC was too slow were all snarky and/or sarcastic, and not in a cute way. I actually don’t think that I will be responding at all. Speed Racer seems like a nice enough guy, but all I want in my life right now is to slow down. I don’t think I’m up to Speed Racer’s speed.