For the first time ever, I had a first date that was not entirely a one-on-one affair (in more ways than one, but we’ll get to that). I had set up a date with Luke a while ago, and then one thing came up, and then another, from both of us. He finally picked a day, but I already had plans to hang out with some friends at the greenbelt. He was fine with that, and asked if he could tag along. I agreed, thinking that if he was really boring, I cold find solace in the company of my friends.
I arrived at the greenbelt, met up with a motley mix of my crew, had a beer, and waited for Luke’s arrival. Now, yes, stripping down to bathing suits on a first date is something rife with pressure and angst, but I figured if we could get through that, we could get through most anything the world would throw at us. He showed up about 30 minutes late (never a good sign), but full of good humor, and sporting some drinks to share around. He was introduced all around, we sat talking alone for a bit, talked with some of my friends – everything was going swell. He then suggested we walk around together alone – sure, I’m down.
This is when the “extra” person enters the picture. As we’re walking around, he apologizes again for being late. It seems that he had to wait for his ex-wife to pick up their son, and she was late.
Wait. Ex-wife? SON? As in, you have a kid? Something you have not mentioned in any of our previous conversations?
Okay, calm down. No one is asking me to be a mommy to this child. Or so I thought.
“Yeah, maybe the three of us can go out for ice cream next weekend.”
“Um… I’m lactose intolerant.”
“Okay, how about meeting up with us at the playground at Zilker?”
Here’s the thing – while 30 is certainly a fine age to have and/or want kids, I’m not there yet. I’m still getting my life straight, and I don’t even know how much I want a boyfriend in my life, let alone an 8-year old child. Plus, we’re on our first date – isn’t it a little soon to want to introduce me to your kid?
I don’t know if my face gave away my complete and utter distaste for the idea, or what (I have no concept of a poker face), but he quickly dropped the subject. At this point, I started making noises about heading back to my friends. We meandered back over, hung out for about 20 more minutes, then he was ready to go. I stood up to give him a hug goodbye, and received an incredulous, “You’re not going to leave too?”
“Well, no. I was going to hang out for a little while longer.”
“Oh. Fine. I guess I’ll just go alone.”
“Did we have plans for after this and I forgot?”
“No, I just assumed you would want to hang out some more.”
Why? Want in the world would make him think that? He gave me a hug, and then went on his way. I received a lackluster call a couple of days later saying that he was going to be tied up for a few days, but that he would call me when his schedule cleared up. I was glad that he found the tactful way out – I didn’t want to drop him just because of the kid, but it was obvious that he had some childish tendencies too.
Maybe he needs a time out.
– Finch
Austin Dating Chronicles 