I do not think you are as tall as you think you are

Last May, shortly before my divorce was final, but well after my ex and I had separated, I felt (naively) that I was ready to test the dating waters. Back before my marriage, Craigslist was a perfectly acceptable place to meet guys, have a few drinks, a few laughs, and then have some much needed physical release. Not all (not even many) of my encounters were casual; they went on to something slightly more than sleeping with each other and slightly less than relationship. But they were great for what I needed, because they all followed that fundamental law – what you say about yourself on the internet can be proven true or false when you meet in person.

I post onto CL, under Women for Men. “Hey, I’m looking for someone cool and laid back, someone who likes movies, wants to grab some breakfast tacos and then chill at Zilker Park, and then can partake in awesome make-out sessions.” I included my picture, because, again, honesty is the best policy. I also stipulated that I wanted someone between the ages of 25-32, 6′ tall (I like height!), and employed (I have my reasons). Many, many responses came in, many who did not fit the three basic requirements, but some which were keepers. I picked two (the other one is recounted in “…And a little hip-hop in the bedroom“). We make plans to meet – one on Friday, one on Saturday, both at Austin Java.

This one had said that he was 6′ tall, 28, had a great job, lived on his own, and was totally ready to meet someone. Okay, I’m set – let’s do this. Now, a quick note – I am about 5’5″, and I have a love of heels. I wore 3″ shoes on this date, which would make me 5’8”, or four inches shorter than this guy in his bare feet. So can anyone tell me why when he showed up, I was looking him  straight in the eyes? I’m going to notice  a difference of four inches, dude! (That’s what she said!! Come one, it was too easy!)

Okay, height isn’t everything. I can go with it. So we sit down, and start talking. That whole being employed thing? Nope, he got fired the month before. And his living alone? That’s only because he can’t find any roommates, and he’s about to be evicted for not paying rent. His readiness to meet someone? He spent an hour talking about his ex-girlfriend. I didn’t dare ask if he had also lied about his age, but since everything else was flexible in his mind, I wouldn’t have doubted it. Yes, I stayed far longer than I should have. It was my first date after four years of marriage – I was a little out of my element.

But can I just say, since we are very much living in an online dating world, just be honest! If you are really 300 pounds, but you claim 150, I’m going to be able to tell the difference. If you send me a picture where you look 26, and then you show up, and it is obvious that that picture was taken around the time of my junior prom, we’re going to have issues. You want to fudge about a few things here and there to get your foot in the door, I get it! But if everything you have said in your initial email was a pack of lies, guess what? No nookie for you!

– Finch