And sometimes they surprise you…

A few days after my exquisite date with Dan, and following many text conversations, I began to wonder if I had done the right thing. I was looking for something more than a sexual relationship, and perhaps by going as far as I did that night I gave him the wrong impression.

Now trust me, this was not some random thought which just popped into my head. We had been texting about some different sexual situations and what we would do in them, so there was fuel for the fire. In the past, I would have had no problem turning into the Ice Queen and freezing him out – complete disappearing act. However, after the craziness which I felt when Catcher did that to me, I decided not to give karma a reason to smack me upside the head.

I sent Dan a message through OKC, telling him that I was so sorry for having given the wrong impression of what I was after, that I was looking for something more than just sex, and that I needed to walk away now. But I did thank him for a lovely time, and relayed that I had obviously enjoyed myself with him.

Now, after that kind of message, the response I expected was something akin to “Fine, you’re nothing but a tease, and I don’t want you anyway.” So when I saw his response pop into my inbox 20 minutes later, I was braced for utter disappointment. Instead, this is what I got:

“I am so sorry that I gave that impression. I actually feel sick reading this. I do not want something based solely on sex. I can see that we went down a sexual path too soon, but that was due to sheer excitement. If we were able to better control ourselves, would you reconsider? I have greatly enjoyed our conversations, and I think you are totally worth it, and I don’t want to lose someone so perfectly amazing. Please let me know what you think.” (and yes, that is directly quoted)

To say that I found myself in a state of shock would be putting it mildly. I would never, never, have expected that response, and I was absolutely overjoyed with it. I messaged him back, we started texting again, we saw each other a few days later (that is a whole other story!), and it’s been like a fairytale ever since.

I think that we get so used to disappointing situations that we begin to expect them to be the norm, and it becomes more and more difficult to recognize good when it is right in front of us. Now I’m not saying that this guy is a prince, or anything like that. There are already reasons why I won’t be spending the rest of my life with him. But it gives me hope to see that there are still good guys out there, guys who possess kind hearts and sexual attraction in equal measure. Someone very close to me always says, “Life is too short to not be adored.” I gotta tell you, after a week of being adored, I could get used to this!

– Finch

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