This is a story from 3M. 3M is My Music Man (and also his name starts with M). He lives upstairs, and is a thoroughly decent and great guy. We share dating stories with each other, laugh over the ridiculousness that is other people, and generally commiserate each others’ experiences.
A couple of weeks ago, 3M had stopped by my apartment to check in and thank me for inviting him to my Spring Fling. We were chatting, and he asked if I had had any experience with OKcupid. I told him that I had, that it was bad, and that after my last date from there (Mmm mmm bad) ended so horribly, I had immediately deleted my account. 3M told me that he had just gotten on there, had set up his profile, and was already talking to a couple of interesting women (interesting, as in they had potential, not interesting as in, they’re weird). We talked about how funny some peoples’ pictures were, how strange it was that people would contact you and then not respond when you wrote them back, and just the absolute silliness of dating in this day and age. 3M let me know that he did have a date that upcoming Saturday with a woman down in Wimberley who seemed exciting. I was over the moon for him, wished him luck, and asked him to let me know how it went.
I doubt that 3M would be upset with me if I told you that I laughed through his entire story. 3M went down to Wimberley (a lovely little town, if you’ve never been), found the meet-up location, and looked for his date. As he searched the faces, he was a little surprised when he realized that the woman he was meeting… wasn’t a woman. Or at least, had not always been a woman. As he sat down to join her for a drink, she told him that she was a post-op transsexual. As in, she used to be a man, and no longer was. As 3M is telling me this, he commented that even if she hadn’t told him, he would have been able to tell. “Her hands were pretty masculine, and I had noticed on the phone that her voice was a little husky.” I could not stop laughing. I asked him if she had identified herself as a woman or as a transsexual on OKcupid (I don’t remember, but I think there was a way to let the world know exactly what your sexual identity was). He said that, no, she had said that she was a woman. But this wasn’t even the worst part.
The woman, withing a half hour of 3M sitting down, invited him back to her place to “get into bed,” but warned 3M that her lady parts were a little tight, since they were, after all, artificial. 3M informed her that he would not be going there, to her house, bedroom, or lady parts. That pretty much wrapped up the date.
3M let me know that he had had another date where the woman (and it was actually a woman) showed up with a colostomy bag, full of drainage, which was placed on the table. As I almost snorted because I was laughing so hard, I asked if this woman had let him know before hand that she would be showing up with this… extra hanging around. No, 3M replied, he was just as surprised with her as with the Wimberley woman.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that we have to disclose every single thing about ourselves within the first 30 minutes of meeting someone, nor do we have to put our business out for the entire world to see. But maybe, just maybe, letting someone know that you were once a man and are now a woman (or vice versa) before the first date, is not completely out of line. Unless, of course, you have a husky voice that gives you away!