The problem with euphoric recall

I don’t know whether it is the moon cycle, or if some planet is in retrograde, or wtf is going on, but it seems that everyone in my life is suffering from euphoric recall right now, myself included. Friends have been questioning whether they really should have have broken up with ex-boyfriends, co-workers are waxing nostalgic about past loves, and I have been lost in daydreams about Tripp and Ex.

Let me first explain what euphoric recall is, for those who are blessed enough to not be burdened with its aphrodesiatic qualities (yes, I did just make that word up). Euphoric recall could also be called selective memory – it is the affliction by which you are only able to recall the good qualities of an ex, or the happy memories of a relationship. All of those negative things which drove the two of you apart in the first place are completely forgotten (for the moment) and you find yourself smiling throughout your day, just thinking about this person and how wonderful everything was. And if it was that wonderful once, then surely it can be again.

If you are caught in it’s clutches, please snap out of it! As a life long sufferer of euphoric recall, I know that no good ever comes of it. I have opened myself up to Tripp more times than I care to remember, all because I got caught up in the fantasy of what our relationship was like. This weekend, I found myself thinking fondly of Ex, and thinking that maybe everything wasn’t as bad as I had thought it was, maybe we could make it work. Never mind that I was completely miserable during our last year together – that was clearly all in my head. It was only when T started telling me about her daydreams of her ex over the weekend that I realized that it was spreading. R had been having some doubts over her break-up, and J had been having some wayward thoughts about her ex. All in all, it was an epidemic.

I’m all for “forgive and forget” but euphoric recall can be a dangerous phenomenon. People break up and move on for a reason. Yes, sometimes they do come back together, and they make it work on their second (or third) try. But more often than not, going back to an ex is the equivalent of “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” If we need help learning the same lesson over and over again, the Universe is usually more than happy to provide us with that opportunity. However, beating your head against a brick wall only hurts yourself.

I (at least temporarily) cured myself of my euphoric recall by remembering something – every time I have lost love, I have been heartbroken and in despair that I will never love again. And each time, sometimes years later, I have found a love that was even better for me, more true, more nurturing, than that which I left behind. So let us not dwell in the past, when there is surely something so much more wonderful in our futures.

And please, whatever cosmic thing is out there causing this to show up in everyone I know, you can stop now.

– Finch

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